A word of advice

If you can't spell, punctuate, or form a complete sentence, don't make a blog. Additionally, if you think that using HAXXOR or TXT abbreviations is cool, don't make a blog.

One thing about writing on the web

Make it clear

By this, I mean leave the stereotypical advertising copy at home. Your readers don't care how clever you are with words if they can't find what they're looking for. While the idea that people who can't immediately find what they're looking for will leave immediate (they won't, if they really want whatever you're promoting) but if they can't find what they want quickly, they will get frustrated. Fun, exciting copy is great if you can merge the two, but don't get so excited in creating that you forget what the goal of your site is.

Think about the way you surf the Internet. When you're shopping on eBay, how much time do you take to stop and read all the ads? Probably not much, right? Sure, the occasional promo will catch your eye, but think about how many times that really happens, and how frustrating it is when you can't immediately find what you're looking for.

Remember this when you're creating content for your webpage.

And now, here's a Youtube video about a hippo named Jessica.

Jessica the Hippo

Everyday, I learn more..

And as the saying goes, I learn just how much I still don't know.

Why the break from my "new" blog? Because I had to find my true reason for writing. And while I still don't know what that is, I am working my tail off to figure it out, so I thought I'd start adding again.

In my bid to actually increase my marketability, I've started taking classes towards a "Professional Certificate" in web design at my local community college. Why? For starters, I love creating art. And what is a website if it isn't a form of art?

And then, there is the need to get my grades back up to a respectable GPA so I can eventually apply to gradschool without knowing that I will be laughed at (I really hate being laughed at).

So, what useful tips do I have this week? Well, for today (otherwise known as Kiss Your Car Day- http://www.sfpcn.org/holidays.htm, how about

Keyword Density

As it relates to SEO copywriting.

There are several things you can do to optimize your keyword density. First, you need a primary keyword or primary keyword phrase. Yes, just one. I'll talk about why in a minute. For each page on your site, you can choose a different keyword. For example, if your site is about butterflies, you could choose "butterfly information" as your homepage keyword, but if you have several pages dedicated to different types of butterflies, each could have its own keywords. The section on the lifecycle of Monarch Butterflies could have "monarch butterfly lifecycle" as its keyword if you wanted.

Why only one or two keywords?

If you think about it, this is just common sense. You want search engines to find you, but if you have several different words or phrases, instead of one repeated several times, search engines aren't going to give you much relevancy.

How many repetions per page?

The easy answer is one instance of your keyword for every 35 lines of copy.

Any more than that, and you risk looking like you're trying to stuff your copy. Stuffing your copy will 1)make everything you write sound reeeeally odd and 2)is sometimes penalized by search engines.

Anything less, and you'll make it more difficult for search engines to find you.

So that's the end of today's lesson. Later this week, I'll talk about keyword placement, and all the interesting areas on your website you never though about as SEO relevant, but really are.

Tragedy, spiraling out of control.

Eight years ago this week, I interviewed one of the students in the middle of the Columbine disaster for the newspaper at which I was working. She had been childhood friends with Dylan Klebold. And in turn, had been one of the students thrust into the janitor's closet, praying that the door didn't open to his face accompanied by a loaded gun.

I also spoke with her mother, who hammered home the fear of losing your child, of not knowing which way is up, of being so helplessly stranded as a spectator in which the game could be deadly for that which is most importatnt to you.

I have never recovered from that interview. It was impossible to completely absorb or comprehend what the student and her mother told me that day. My mind simply could not wrap itself around any of it- and I was left with a sense of horror personified by this girl.

Yesterday, it happened again. And this time, I am only a member of the public. For which I am grateful. I don't know if I could go through discussing something like that again.

And in turn, I am ashamed. It was not me that was shot. It was not a friend. It was not my child. Like many others, I have connections to students at V-Tech, but nothing that should make me feel victimized. But I do. And I am embarassed that I feel such. The despair that so many parents are feeling right now; the emotions of those that survived. These should be at the forefront today.

But in truth, we are all victims. On NPR this morning, a reporter who had also interviewed Columbine victims had heard one particularly striking comment this week, eight years ago. A woman, bringing an offering to a make-shift shrine, commented that it was sad that we as a country knew what to bring to this occasion. And this stuck me, like nothing else. We do know what to bring. Right now, there are piles of flowers, teddy bears, cards, and more scattered around Virginia Tech. There are religious services, counseling, and candlelight vigils. Because in one form or another, we've all been through this before, and we know the drill.

What frightens me the most is that we'll all go through this again. We'll all know the emotions, the symbols, and the words to bring. And even worse, we'll bring the knowledge that it still won't be the last. And there's nothing I can do, or write, or say, that will stop this. We can only wonder, and hope, and pray, that it won't be us, or our children, or our friends.

Why you should pay attention to what I write, not how I write it.

Like everyone else in the universe, I am not perfect. There will be grammatical mistakes here, and someone will see them.

Just don't get nasty about it, okay? A simple "Hey, did you know you mispelled HAXXOR!!!??!!!" will suffice. Treat me like a moron, and I'll delete your comment. Play nice, and I'll admit to the mistake, fix it, and give you credit for making me look silly.

Two things to remember today:

1)If you have a list of three or more things, use a comma to separate. None of this "hot dogs, hamburgers and bocaburgers," please. It's "hot dogs, hamburgers, and Boca burgers." Unless, of course, you like to mash up your hamburgers and Boca burgers into one congealed pseudo-vegetarian-but-not-really mash.

2) No matter what your high school English teacher told you, do not, not, NOT put an extra space between a period and the beginning of the next sentence. One will do just fine. Most people no longer use typewriters, which necessitated the space for clarity's sake. But no longer. All it does is make things more difficult for people like myself who then have to go back through your entire document and fix it.

Why yes, I'd like fries with that!

Today, I am going to write about something that I desperately need to remember. When someone asks you how you're doing, do not reply with "I'm good!" You are not a nice, juicy t-bone hot off the grill. You are not a virtuous maiden who's never done a bad turn. You may be, however, "well."

So, what is this?

This is, simply put, a place for me to voice my annoyances at the world of "writers" who, in reality, need to be collectively smacked upside their heads with a dictionary/thesaurus combo and have a copy of Strunk and White shoved down their throats.

Today, I would like to address the idea of consistent writing in the business world. Do not use slang like "wheels" and "this little gem" in reference to vehicles unless you are Mustang Sam the Used Car Man. And even then, don't use it. And even more importantly, DO NOT mix it with standard business language. Don't ask someone politely to "Send us an email and we'll find the car you'd like," in one sentence while simultaneously slapping them upside the head with "Mustang Sam's BUY TODAY AND GET THREE HAMS AND A MICROWAVE THROWN IN FREE!" in the next.

Really. Just don't do it.